Grasp My Abstinence A Lot Harder Than My Day Count

Hi Greysheeters I am abstinent and grateful.  I commit my food to my sponsor - I weigh and measure each meal without exception and abstinence is the most important thing I do no matter what today. I was talking to a friend in AA yesterday.  In a cafe she had a soda with flavouring added that contained the stuff she is addicted too.  It slipped past her radar because she can normally purchase it without 'the stuff' at the corner store.  She was rebelling against her sponsor's suggestion she go back to day one.  The lesson I learnt from her, that had not sort of hit me before is that I need to grasp my abstinence a lot harder than I grasp my day count.  Clean abstinence is infinitely more important and useful to me than a long day count.  Goodness knows I've had my share of technical stuff ups (and not so technical also :-}) and each time struggled with the head talk that goes - "it's not a big enough deal to go back to day one with".  Today my abstinence is clean because 309 days ago I fessed up and let go of my day count to stay rigorously honest with this program - and I haven't stuffed up since - Thank you HP and sponsor and GS family!! Anyway, I am stoked to be abstinent as I head towards Christmas, the traditional time of physical, emotional and familial binges! Yay only 12 days to Boxing Day!!!!

Anonymous, NZ
December 13, 2005

Early Abstinence
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